Why Do Bad Things Happen To God People? Blessings in Disguise

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8 NIV

"...we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God, is worked into something good." Romans 8: 28 MSG

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This song has been playing in my car and on my mind this week. As has the question of why bad things happen to good people. It's been argued over and questioned and no one can really give a satisfactory answer, although many have tried. When I wonder why some people suffer through childhood sexual abuse and it's lifelong impact, or why there are starving children around the world, I guess it's pretty hard to answer that in a few lines or a few books, even.

I do firmly believe that God does not "send" or "give" these, and many other bad things to us. And I fully believe that there is evil lurking in this world, and that some people make terrible decisions with horrible consequences. Yet why doesn't He save us from these things? Especially when we love and follow Him, and cry out in desperate prayer to Him?

Isaiah 55:8 was my answer. Even though it's not totally satisfactory to my curious, demanding monkey of a mind. God gently reminds me that He is in control...and that I cannot think or act in ways that He would. Being all-knowing and all-powerful, I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. Maybe when I see the view from Heaven, I will understand.

Romans 8:28 is also another piece to this puzzle, I think. Somehow, the Spirit works in the most terrible of situations to bring some good out of it, especially to those who believe in Him. I have seen this time and again in my own life, and the life of others. I could identify in the song, with the healing from tears, and the thousand sleepness nights leading to knowing God was with me. Would I go back to erase those tears I cried? I hate to cry, especially in public. No, I would not rewrite these times, because I know they were a large part of my healing journey. Would I prefer to have slept soundly, instead of lying awake worried and sad and fearful many nights? Well in some respects yes! but I also know that I felt closest to God when I needed Him most.

I pray that the hurts and fears you have experienced become blessings and mercies in disguise.                

Running on (Spiritual) Empty

"I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty." Ruth 1:21

"So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11


As I got into my car today to drive to work, I noticed the empty light was on. It was one of those little signs from God, saying, "pay attention!". Not only was my car desperately needing gas, but I have been feeling desperately empty...thirsty for God, surrounded by water, and yet not taking the time to drink deeply.

From the outside, my car looks pretty good: it's reasonably clean, has new and safe winter tires on, no rust, and has just been tuned up. However, none of those are any indication of the condition of the gas tank, which is blinking orangely at me, begging me to stop for gas soon, before I get stranded. My spiritual life seems much the same: from the outside, I am going to mass, attending prayer group, preparing and teaching religion class, ministering to my family, and doing good works. I am praising and praying regularly. Yet there is an emptiness from which my soul cries "Lord, have mercy on me"....

I know that, unlike my car, periods of emptiness can be good for me. Look what God created out of emptiness (Genesis 1:2). Victory, freedom and new life emerged from an empty tomb (John 20:1). So, when I am empty of myself, God can fill me with Himself, which is a constant prayer of mine. But emptiness is uncomfortable at times....especially in our busy lives filled with assorted chaos, clutter and confusion.

I know the empty light is on for a reason though. I have not paused often enough, to rest in God's Word, to meditate on it and simply BE in His presence, listening to His Word. He has been speaking to me through His Word, but I have not been listening well and allowing His Word to accomplish what He desires.

Lord Jesus, may this period of emptiness be used to fill me with Your presence. May I become less and you become greater. Let the emptiness lead to Your creativity and new life. Strengthen me Lord, so that I may spend time in stillness and quiet, with You and Your Word, each day.

Stolen Moments of Silence & Praise

"Jesus said,"Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear." Mark 4:9 NIV


"I heard every creature in heaven and on earth...saying"To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and glory and honour, for ever and ever!" Revelation 5:13 NIV


"Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him." Lamentations 3:28 NIV



Getting away, by myself, to be in silence, to enjoy nature, to be in the presence of God, is not an easy task. Especially in the summer, when my family is all home and clamoring for my attention as soon as I walk in the door, as they are on vacation and I work. Yet I find myself craving the silence, the cool peace found in the depths of the forest. So I lace up my sneakers and sneak out the door before anyone can follow me....

It is no wonder I have a hard time hearing Jesus most days. The noise of the television, radio, computer, telephone, family, friends, and countless other distractions compete for my attention. I am relieved to have a few moments of silence on my country road walk. Yet, in the silence, I am listening, listening for the voice of my Jesus, who longs to talk to me. He knows how hard it is to get away from the demands of  a busy life...he who stole away in the early morning by boat or in the mountains, to talk to His Father, to pray for guidance and strength.

In the silence of the forest, as I listen to Jesus and offer up the day's worries and cares, problems and concerns, he listens. And as I pray for the strength to carve out more time with Him, the silence suddenly explodes with praise and worship for His holy name. The black capped chickadee lands nearby and sings with all it's heart, a joyful song...and it's friends join in the refrain. The frog peeps out from a deep puddle and croaks in tune. The squirrel chatters in excitement as he joins in the praise of all the earth. Even the crow, whose loud cackle normally annoys, joins in the chorus of the beauty of God in harmony.

My heart sings with praise also. For Him who loves me and shares His love, if only I have ears to hear. Eyes to see. And a heart open to His Holy Spirit. Prasie lightens my load and places the focus of my life squarely where it belongs: Jesus.

God's Presence in Nature

"By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes, as such, can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of His divine being." Romans 1:20 MSG

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 NIV

 My heart has been dry, like many wells this summer. It has been a time where I had to trust in God's presence, despite not feeling it. I have felt a little like the parched plants on my deck, wilted and barely hanging on in the intensity of the heat. Yet when my heart cried out to God last week, as I walked on a beautiful road by myself, He heard my cry. I realized I have forgotten to take time for myself, for these alone moments are when I speak with Him. Though I may have forgotten Him for a time, He will never forget me.


Quiet conversation and soft tears accompanied me on my walk as I poured out my heart to Him about hurts and worries, things I know I can not solve but I can talk to Him about, and He will hold them close to His heart. After many months of feeling alone, he showed me His presence in a butterfly, carefully colored and disguised to blend into it's surroundings, but following along my path. "I have always been right here beside you, although you may not have noticed me", He said. "I am guiding you and walking with you every step of the way."


 Further along the beauty of my route, a few more tears and a few more heartfelt prayers said, an eagle caught my eye, as it sat in it's nest. It sat in stillness, taking in the beauty of it's surroundings, and He reminded me, "Take a few moments every day to be quiet with me. I will give you eagle's wings to fly on, and peace in your heart." My heart was thankful to feel God's presence as I hadn't in a while. Yet my burden was not quite lifted, as I continued to fret over things I can not control. Doesn't He hear my prayer, I thought? Why does an answer not come?


But prayer seemed to flow more freely and I continued my conversation with him the next day in the ruins of my old garden. He called to me, "Take a walk with me, I will quiet your heart." I stumbled into the ruins of my garden and was amazed. Amidst the tall weeds and old foliage, was a treasure of red gold: cups and cups of fragrant, sweet ripe raspberries. I had forgotten that I had planted some canes several years ago, and since then have not gardened. Imagine my delight when I found that the raspberries had somehow thrived, despite my neglect! I felt Him reminding me, that I have planted many seeds in my faith life as well. Some have been harvested, and others I may have forgotten or are not quite ready to harvest. But they will all bear fruit, in His time and His way. I have faith again that there may be a surprise abundant harvest for me, when I least expect it!

Discipline...or Lack Thereof

"Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed - that exhilirating finish in and with God - he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever."
Hebrews 12:3 The Message

I have such grand plans...and great ideas. And I am so easily sidetracked that it's almost laughable. I'm sure God does get some amusement from the antics in my brain and my life some days..."I'll just find one more activity for my religion class...oh yes, I need to make something for lunches tomorrow...I wonder if I put that load of laundry in the dryer...could I have done something more for that client?...I have to pack for that trip...Valentine's is coming up soon, have to do something special...haven't posted on my blog in awhile...it's my Mom's 60th birthday today...you need the camera for school? wait I'll find it...gotta get my hair dried before heading out in the freezing cold" This is just a 15 second snapshot of my brain on life. No wonder I'm mentally exhausted by nightfall. I'm sure many of you can relate!

I am lacking focus and discipline these days. Feeling distracted, jumping from one
thing to the next without getting what I envisioned done, whether it be in my home life or work life or especially my prayer life. Taking some time to ponder this, I could blame a busy life and a desert dryspell in faith, or any number of culprits. But I keep coming up with the gentle nudging of the Spirit who says "You need to carve out some time with me...consistent time...time when you pursue a relationship with me, no matter where you're at in this rat race." It's not a pointing finger...I know God loves me no matter what. Yet the growth I crave, the fruit I would like to bear for Christ will not happen without some discipline, perseverance and consistency.

I think this is a time for me to weed out the million and one ideas I have...instead of adding spiritual disciplines or spiritual activities without thinking them through, I would love to be able to commit to one or two and persevere with them. The discipline of learning to run (which I also lost and am trying to find my way back towards) means making time for it,preparing mentally and physically for it, and focusing on it. I need to apply those principles in my relationship with Jesus as well!

Come Holy Spirit, and turn my eyes upon Jesus. Let me continue in this race of life as Jesus did - setting aside precious time to be with His heavenely Father - let me not lose sight of my goal to be with Him always. Amen

Battling for A Fresh Start

"Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet.
Truth, righteousness,peace, faith and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life.
God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."

Ephesians 6:13-18 The Message

"Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
Scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
Set these once-broken bones to dancing,
Don't look too close for blemishes,
Give me a clean bill of health,
God, make a fresh start in me,
Shape a Genesis-week from the chaos of my life."

Psalm 51:7-10 The Message


Some battles I am facing feel like I am David, young and ill-equipped, taking on the monster Goliath backed by all his well-armed troops. I love food, and as the wife/mom/chief cook at home, it seems I am always in the kitchen, planning meals or preparing them. Sometimes all three meals for the day at once,at around 6:30 am! I also love to cook and bake and according to my fan club, have some talents in this area. It is a blessing, but also at times a curse...the temptation to eat too much, or make less than healthy choices, or snack when I shouldn't, or nibble as I make meals, is just too much. Especially when, though I don't own a scale, my measuring tape says my health is at risk. It is so easy to rationalize and justify my choices, I certainly need David's firm conviction that the Lord can and will overcome any battle before us. You will no doubt hear more on this topic as I read Lysa TerKeurst's "Made To Crave", and struggle through the self-reflection questions...it is rare that I find a book I don't want to read, but here is one I have been avoiding, and am reading in a painfully slow manner, because of the battle.

Another battle is discouraging me, as my church and prayer group community are both facing struggles and dissention. Neither are presently a place I am enjoying, though I am trying to "keep the faith" and struggle through. I am praying that the Lord will give me the weapons I need to protect myself...His Word and prayer, especially praise, have been keeping me going when I feel like giving up the fight. My hope and prayer for both communities is that God will soak us in His Spirit and scrub us clean, and set our feet, heart (and dry bones!) to dancing as His presence fills us with new life and growth.

God, make a fresh start in me, and make a fresh start in my church and prayer group. Shape a Genesis-week from the chaos of my life, and our community life. Blow the Holy wind and flame of your Spirit upon us all, that will cleanse us, renew us and rekindle the fire of Your love in us all. I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen

Searching for the Breath of Life Amidst Dry Bones

"God's Spirit took me up and set me down in the middle of an open plain strewn with bones..."
"God, the Master, told the dry bones, "Watch this: I'm bringing the breath of life to you and you'll come to life."

Ezekiel 37:1,5 The Message

I have been walking through a desert of faith lately. It's not entirely unpleasant, really. The warmth and sun of my busy daily life at work and at home, have been good companions, even if the air's a little dry.My prayer life and church life have kept on keeping on, and like the cactus plants are drawing water and nourishment from faith carefully stored there during the last season of growth. There is little to complain about and much to give thanks for in the midst of this sunny open plain. But the scenery gets a bit dull and not much changes from day to day...not to mention it's difficult to grow a lush garden of the Spirit's fruit in this environment. It's no wonder all those dried up bones are strewn all over my path.

When I yearn for growth or for the feeling of closeness in my walk with Jesus, I am always reminded of Mother Theresa. It was an eye opener for me when I read her biography. She spent much of her life feeling that Jesus was hiding his presence from her, leaving her in a valley of shadows. Yet this woman of incredible faith continued on her path, trusted in Him and worked tirelessly for Him. She took those dry bones and let God breathe new life into them...though she didn't "feel" the new life most of the time, they danced with love and wept with compassion and cared for all.

Jesus, my friend and my Saviour, breathe new life into these dry bones of faith. May I walk in your path no matter where it leads me: open plains, majestic mountaintops and valleys of shadow. Let your Spirit breathe new life into me, so that I may come to life...life to the fullest...a life to enjoy and in which I will bear much fruit for You. Amen.